Real Happy Mom

Practical tips and encouragement for moms

How to End Mealtime Battles with Your Kids For Good

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Sometimes at dinnertime, and even breakfast. I’m struggling to get my kids to eat.

I don’t know if this is you, but sometimes my kids give me the hardest time when it’s mealtime.

So instead of struggling, I got someone here to help me out with this. And I’m hoping that it will help you too.

In this episode, I have my friend and podcast buddy, Unyime, who is going to be sharing with us some ways that we can end the mealtime battles.

In this episode, Unyime shares:

  • Some of the myths about eating and mealtimes
  • Why moms struggle at mealtime
  • Tips and strategies to get your kids to eat at mealtime without the struggle
  • A new mindset to take on so that you are not stressed out about your kids not eating enough

If you are ready to end the mealtime battles, listen to this full episode.

 

About

Unyime is a mum of 3, a non-diet Nutrition Coach, and podcast host who is committed to helping busy overwhelmed mums transform their relationship with food so that they can stop obsessing about food, gain freedom, and feel empowered to raise children who have a good relationship with food and their bodies. When she’s not busy, you’ll find Unyime painting and taking care of her plant babies…or napping, which is one of her favorite things to do.

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Transcript of this episode

Real Happy Mom 0:02
You’re listening to the real happiness podcast, the weekly podcast for busy working moms to get inspiration, encouragement and practical tips for this journey called motherhood. My name is Toni-Ann you are listening to Episode 146. I am super excited to have you back again. And to have this conversation here today, because I’m just gonna be real with you. Sometimes at dinnertime, and even breakfast. I’m struggling to get my kids to eat. I don’t know if this is you, but sometimes they just don’t want to eat. I feel like I’m always in them, the E is just exhausting. So instead of struggling, I got someone here to help me out with this. And I’m hoping that it will help you too. I have my friend and podcast buddy, here you ma oguta who is going to be sharing with us some ways that we can end the mealtime battles. Because mom, we have bigger things to do than sitting over here fighting with the kids on getting them to eat their chicken nuggets or their fish sticks. So I am super excited to have my friend here to help us out with this. In this episode, we are going to be having some really great conversations around mealtime battles, and some of the myths around why moms are struggling with getting their kids to eat. We also talk about some of my struggles, and I get some really good advice on things that I can do it and say, to actually encourage my kids to eat versus pressuring them to eat. Then also, we talked about some different mindset shows that we can have as moms so that we don’t get stressed out about our kids not eating. Because at the end of the day, we want our kids to make sure that they’re eating enough so that they have the proper nutrition. And they’re able to be full enough so that they’re not coming back asking for snacks. And we know that they are growing and thriving and healthy. So I am ready to just go ahead and jump on into this episode because this one is so so good. And I know it’s gonna help you out because it helped me out a ton. So let’s go ahead and jump on into this week’s episode. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you very much. I’m so excited to be here. Yes, yes, I am excited to have you. I’m excited to talk to you today about mealtime battles because I still struggle with that here with my now five year old. So I’m super pumped to have you. But before we jump into our topic for today, I just wanted you to share a little bit about you and what you do.

Unyime 2:37
Thank you, I am so excited to be here. And I can’t wait to dive in talk about because I know that’s a battle for a lot of us mums. But my story just steps all the way back to about eight years ago when I was the mom who didn’t end, of course, I was trying to be the supermom and volunteering for everything. Then over a cost of about six months to a year, I got diagnosed with IBS. And to cut the long story short, it turns out that I actually was having really bad symptoms of stress that were showing up as IBS. So my doctor gave me two option is either you cut down whatever you want, or we’re gonna have to go do a colonoscopy and give you some medications to handle the stress. So for one, I don’t like hospitals. So that was not an option for me. And I decided within a week just to sit down and really figure out what the issue was. So I started cutting back on my work hours, I cut back on volunteering, started saying no, which was really hard for me. And over time, within about six months, my symptoms started to get better. I was not as stressed, as I was before. And then I just realized, you know what, this is something that’s really common among a lot of us moms, because talking to different moms and telling them my story. A lot of them could relate. But the thing that kept coming back was oh, that’s just the way it is. We just have to live with that. And I thought, well, I don’t want to live that way. It’s really just not fun for me. So I decided, you know what, I will start talking more about this and just see what mums Think about it. And that’s where I am today where I’m helping moms simplify nutrition because for me, coming from a nutrition background, I found that there were a lot of things that were stressing us out like putting ourselves on the backburner meal times is a big one. So I thought you know what, let’s just do this and talk to moms about simplifying nutrition so that they don’t need diets or trying to figure out how to raise their kids they can just do this simply and put themselves first without feeling guilty without feeling like it’s a bad thing. And I do that now through my coach coaching program and also through my podcasts

Real Happy Mom 4:48
are awesome and I am just curious because I know you said you got Miss diagnose. So were you able through all the changes that you made to control the symptoms so you no longer had those symptoms anymore?

Unyime 5:02
Yeah, it was really interesting because they were mostly digestive issues. Of course, anyone who’s been through IBS diagnosis knows what happens. And sometimes if we study what stress shows up in the body as usually that’s where it starts. And just by adjusting how I was sleeping and stuffing all of the engagements and pulling back on work hours, I was able to rest more, I was able to eat better. And my digestive systems just resolved. And of course, my doctor actually said, you don’t have IBS?

Real Happy Mom 5:34
Nice, nice. I was just curious, because I know someone who’s listening like

Unknown Speaker 5:37
what happened.

Real Happy Mom 5:38
So now we know what happened. Absolutely, yes. So the real reason why I really wanted to talk to you is because of mealtime battles, in particular with little ones. And I know I, I think I do a really good job of trying to give my kids a variety. And it’s crazy to me how, in particular, like my five year old when he was first born, like that dude is eight and eight and eight, all the way up until he was about three. I don’t know what happened. But he’s started to get a lot more pickier. So it’s been really difficult to make sure that he eats, but also making sure that he’s getting nutritious stuff, and not just the junk that he likes to eat. So I’m just wondering, what is, I guess one of the biggest struggles that you’ve noticed with the moms that you work with, in particular when it comes to mealtime battles? And how are we able to handle these picky eaters without losing it?

Unyime 6:42
That’s actually a very loaded question. And we’ll unpack it a little bit. So when babies are born, most infants have the ability to regulate themselves to know when they’re hungry to know when they’re full, to know what kind of foods tastes good to them. Now, with a typical baby, who doesn’t have any issues, or struggles, when the mums feeding them know, before they get hungry, or when they’re hungry, they’ll suck on their thumb, sucking their lips, try to let them know that they’re hungry. When they’re done, they will either turn their face away, and depending on the age, they might push back. This is normal behavior as the children grow, and once you start introducing solids and about that toddler age, children coming to this experience where they start to explore their environment, and food is no longer that important. So you were talking about when your son was born, he was really eating. And of course, for you, as a mom, you were really happy because there’s this myth that’s being perpetrated by mom culture, that it is our jobs to get our kids to eat. So if you think it’s my job to get my kids to eat, and he’s eating, that makes you happy. Now, natural development, when they’re in that toddler stage, is that they get to explore, that’s when they’re trying to figure out who they are in this world. So things like no become very common. So pushing back and trying to figure out who they are building autonomy for themselves. And that’s when we get into this power struggle. So again, if you’re thinking it’s my job to get my child to eat, what do you do, you start to pressure, you start to pick and choose what kinds of foods you want them to eat. Now, the problem with that is a lot of us don’t actually ask our kids what they want. We don’t think about what their preferences are, we don’t think about how they like the food prepared. It’s just like, this is the way we do it. This is how I want to do it, your opinions don’t matter. But if someone is trying to build autonomy, this is an opportunity for us to actually learn from our children, what makes sense for them, what they would love to eat. So when they get to that stage, what a lot of us do is pressure. And rather than pressure, I invite us to actually figure out where we stand and stick to our roles. So in my program, I talk about the division of responsibility, which is a term coined by Ellen Sattar. She’s a family therapist. And she’s been doing this for years where she figured out that parents and children have roles when it comes to feeding. So the parent decides the what, which is the foods that they feed, they decide where we will eat the food. And then when those foods will be eaten. Children decide whether or not they want to eat and how much. So if we go back to that myth of it is the moms job or the parents job to get the child to eat, you tend to see that parents cross that role. And when parents cross that rule and start playing the child’s role, that’s when the children start to push back. And what’s happening with your son or what happened with him is very common with kids. I even have my oldest one. It was the same thing even though I knew this. It just didn’t translate into me doing what was supposed to be done. So I struggled at that stage as well. And she started picking foods. Another thing you talked about was the picky eater is It’s a term that I tend to encourage my clients not to use with kids. Because when you call a child a picky eater, you’re naming them. And children at that age, they see the world black and white. So if you said someone did something bad, automatically, they think the person is a bad person, because they did something bad. So when you call them a picky eater, they take on that persona of picky eating, and what does picky eating involved, they’ll say, No, doesn’t matter what type of food you put on the plate, even foods they used to eat before, just because this is the title that they’re owning. So they won’t want to try other foods. They’re very averse to any change, or old normal, but what we can do as parents is to support them and drop that title. Rather than calling them picky eaters. How about we say, okay, there’s still discovering, and then backing off and saying, Okay, if my job is to provide the food, decide when we’re going to eat, and where, which is the structure, I can trust that if I’m doing my part, they will do their part. And it might take a while, because depending on how long your child has been in that power struggle with you, it might take them quicker to adjust, it might take them longer. Like I said, my oldest daughter, I started doing this about three, and now she just turned, she’s almost 10. And we didn’t get to this place until maybe two years ago where she finally got to trust me around foods. So for some people, it might be different for other people, it might just be a lot quicker matter of trusting your child and deciding I’m not going to call them picky anymore, I’m going to stick to my job. Then one other thing you talked about was just the idea of junk food. So

Unyime 11:41
again, that’s another name that I tend to encourage my clients not to use, because when we say junk food, what does that really mean? It means it’s trash, it means this food is not useful, right? But let’s think about the foods that we call junk food, things like can be things like chips, things like ice cream, these are foods that make our life so much fun, they bring joy, they bring happiness, these are the things that we tend to connect over. So someone’s having ice cream, it’s like, oh, I had a bad day, I’m gonna have some ice cream, or let’s go for ice cream makes us happy. We can’t it’s like thinking about yourself as an adult. Imagine if you had to work every single day without ever playing, it gets really boring. So that’s the same thing with food. And the reason a lot of kids are attracted to this food is that sometimes they need that quick energy. And these foods are easy to digest. They’re quick bursts of carbohydrates or fats in their bodies, they typically make them feel good, there’s less stress around them, because they’re just easy to eat. Right, they’re very accessible to the child. So rather than trying to throw all those foods out, I encourage parents to think about all foods as open and equal on the same level. Because whether it’s junk food, which I don’t like to use that term, I tend to use play foods, whether it’s those kinds of foods, or your vegetables and fruits, all foods should be looked at the same way. That way they there’s no level of morality, on you know, eating carrots versus eating a bag of chips. It’s just like food is food. And once we start to neutralize that term, and bring all foods onto the same level, it’s easy for the kids not to be so attracted to those foods that we don’t want. Obviously, again, if we’re really staying and doing our jobs, they will do their jobs. We just need to trust that eventually things are going to turn around. And it’ll work out.

Real Happy Mom 13:37
Yeah, yeah. You brought up a lot of really good things. And I’m glad you unpack that here for me. The first one being you know, the whole issue with kids wanting to have autonomy and to be able to choose what they want. And that is one thing that I’m trying to do better with in trying to give choices that rather than say no, you’re eating chicken and rice like that’s it. Because I’ve noticed at least with my oldest one, he he’s very plain like his hamburgers is literally abundant a patty he doesn’t want ketchup. He doesn’t want let us nothing. He wants a banana Patty. That’s his burger. His hot dog is hilariously abundant. A hot dog like very, very plain. And I’m like, boy, like Don’t you know that your daddy’s African and your mom is like, like, has Jamaican roots like you need some in your life, bro. Like, come on, lady. Yeah. So it’s like frustrating me sometimes because I’m like, Can I please just put a little bit of salt and pepper on this? And he’s like, no, Mommy, I want it like this. So I’m learning to back off, at least with him. But it’s it’s really challenging, especially like for the little one because I’m used to seeing him eat so much. And now he’s like, no, I only want cookies. Like literally he will eat cookies all day long. If If I didn’t say stop, that’s what he ate all day long. And so it’s like Okay, like, I can’t let you eat cookies all day, like, Can we please like, eat a little bit of rice just a little bit. So that’s where my struggle is, is how can we introduce like, some more, or different foods for them. And also keep things balanced. So they’re not just eating cookies all day,

Unknown Speaker 15:19
I guess. Okay,

Unyime 15:21
I’m just gonna go here and say that balance for me doesn’t exist when it comes to eating. When we say balanced, that means we’re trying to put all foods equal, and we know that you can’t, some days are going to be different. So when you think about balance, everyone thinks the same day, or every single day, food needs to look the same, and it’s not going to be that way. So same thing with us every day, your taste changes what you want to eat changes. So for instance, with your your son who’s really just attracted to cookies, it’s possible that there was a time when cookies were kind of forbidden or limited. So now he’s like, Okay, I need to make sure I’m eating a lot of this because I don’t know if I’m going to have it again. Or if Mom’s going to take it away, or if somebody else is going to tell me not to eat them. So this is very common, when food has been restricted, we tend to really gravitate and fixate on that food, right, because we just want to have as much as we can. So one thing I would encourage you to do is just to remind him that the cookies will always be here, they’re not going to go anywhere, they’re going to be here, but I would love for you to try other foods. And then you think about the structure. So we talked about when the food will be presented and where. So if we let them know, this is how we’d like to eat. Your cookies are available if you’d love, but this is how we eat. So how can I support you, so that you still get your cookies, and you’re also trying out other foods. And usually I encourage parents to try and serve a few meals, family style. And that doesn’t mean a complete, you know, array of buffet, whatever, it might just be okay. In the case where we’re having chicken and rice, maybe he doesn’t want the chicken together with the rice. Okay, there’s rice here, there’s chicken, what would you like to try? Right, and then we place the cookies there. So just letting it because we’re so used to portioning out foods on plates. And when we give it to the kids, that’s also a form of saying, well, this is what I want you to eat. And this is how much I think you should eat. So children tend to not feel very powerful in those stages. And a way to encourage them is just serving that food on a neutral ground. If we put everything out there, and they see Mum, they see other people in the family just taking from those those meals that have been set out, it might encourage them to try. It’s all about inviting and creating that atmosphere. And even at the table when they try something I know for a lot of us parents is received, we’ve been trying to get our kids to eat. Our next thing is to be so excited. Oh, you did such a great job, you ate that food. That’s a form of pressure to because now because they ate that food and you’re happy to them. It’s like that means I have to keep eating this food because now mom is always going to be happy if I do it. And if I don’t, then she’s going to be mad. So it’s very important for us to keep a neutral response, whether they eat carrots over cookies, or not our responses neutral. Oh, I noticed you ate that. Tell me about it. How was it? And that’s it. We’re not encouraging and saying You’re a good boy. We’re not encouraging and cheering him on. We’re just trying to figure out what were the skills that helped him to get to that place where he decided to eat the carrot. Okay, what was it about that experience? What did you like about it? This is how we learn what our kids like. Because sometimes we’re so in our heads about this is the way we cook this type of food. But if we’re actually listening to our children, it might just be like in your son’s your older ones case where he just likes bland food. Maybe the younger one doesn’t really like bland foods. But if we’re paying attention, okay, how would you like this prepared? I’ll give you an example. One of my kids favorite foods to eat or chicken nuggets and fries, like they can eat that all day. And the funny thing is, there was a time when I was really into health and being very focused on they have to eat good foods, these foods are better than the other ones. I was so against packaged foods. I would try and make chicken nuggets from scratch. My kids never eat it. And this just like drove me nuts. And thinking here I am nutrition professional like my kids should be eating the foods not out of the box. I finally just gave up because again, I was trying to reduce stress. So I tried to feed them the chicken nuggets from the box and they actually preferred it. So I started asking, okay, what is it about this chicken that you like? Well, we like how it’s crispy. We don’t really get the chicken smell from when it’s out of a box. So these are the things that really deterred them from when mom makes it I thought okay, that’s fine. How can I mix it up so that we’re still getting other foods and I started serving salads. So on the days when they have chicken nuggets, my husband and I would have roast chicken. So the roast chicken is what I’m making from scratch because we don’t really like the nuggets. But there’s just takes like 20 minutes to make. So then I do that, and we have fries as a family. But then there’s salad that we serve family stuff. So do you want salad with dressing or not? You pick and choose how you want to eat that that way everyone gets to be a part of it. Once they see us eating, it’s easier for them to learn, okay, this is how mom decides what she likes. This is the way she wants to eat it. And they can figure out how they want to do it for themselves. So that’s just pretty much it. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Real Happy Mom 20:46
And you brought up a couple of things that I was thinking about. The first thing was with my oldest, the one the bland child, he likes everything very bland. With him, I have a rule with him. I’m like you, you can’t say you don’t like something you have to at least try it. So always have at least just taste. Taste it. That’s all I’m asking. I’m not gonna force you to eat it. So he will at least tasting and I we do a thumbs up scale. So he’ll do thumbs up halfway and then down. So I’ll be like, okay, like how was I don’t know, I made some jumble I one day I was like, how’s the jump? Like he was like man gave me like halfway. So I’m starting to pay attention like, Okay, what does he like, and then trying to eliminate some of the, the spices and things like that, because I know he doesn’t particularly care for that. But he does like to eat a lot of meat. So he won’t eat a lot of the rice, whereas the little one will eat more the rice and not the meats. But the other thing, too, that I was gonna ask you about is when you’re talking about serving the food on a neutral ground? So would you say letting them serve themselves and put the food on the plate themselves? Or like have it you know, how those plates have it sectioned out, like you can put it out and the different little sections? Would you put in different sections? Like how would you say 70 on a neutral ground so that they feel like they’re empowered, and they can make their own decisions regarding their foods?

Unyime 22:09
That’s a great question. And I think this question doesn’t really have an overall answer. It depends on the family. So depending on the age as well, there’s some kids who want the parents to help them out. So if the food is out there, they can ask, can you help me? Okay, what would you like me to do? Do you want me to dish out your food? Or do you want me to show you how to do it? It’s all about asking, they will know what they want from you. With regards to those plates that are all sectioned out. There are some kids too, who don’t want food to touch. And I know my oldest child, that was her thing when she was a toddler. She did not like she would not do a mix dish like something like mac and cheese. Don’t even bring it close to her. Rather she’d have you put the past up, put the grated cheese on the side and some sauce. And that’s how she ate it just very separated. So we got to have to think about Okay, what do our kids want? What would they like to try and maybe serving families tell is not what your children want. They want you to dish the food. But again, it’s all comes back to having that conversation. Sometimes we think oh, we have to wait till they start talking before we talk to them. But our kids are smart. If we just give them that opportunity. My third daughter, there was a time I was feeding her and I actually wasn’t paying attention and the food was hot. And I burned her mouth. Which is just crazy. Because I wasn’t paying attention. And guess what? After that day, she stopped eating. She was not taking anything if the food was not on her plate and she could touch it. She didn’t want to eat from me. And I had to learn so overtime, I was like, why are you refusing food? Or do you think it’s hot? She couldn’t talk but she could not her head. And I thought, Okay, do you want to touch the food and see? And then she nodded her head and I think she was maybe like two and a half or so or maybe a little bit younger than that. But that was her talking to me and I had to listen to know that you know what she doesn’t like when food is really hot. That’s the way I eat. I love my food really hot. If it’s hot, let it be hot. If it’s cold that it’d be cold, there’s no in between. So I had to learn to adjust because she wants her food. Not hot. She wants it cold. She doesn’t want spicy. So again, like you were from Nigeria. We like spicy. We like it like intense and really flavorful. She is not like that. So we’ve had to adjust that just based on what she wants. And that doesn’t mean making multiple foods. It’s just like, okay, what’s the level that we can all manage and find a good rhythm and then if I need it to be more spicy, I will add pepper on mine. And then just give them the rest. So that’s how we’ve worked it out as well. Yes,

Real Happy Mom 24:51
yes. No, I’m totally with you on that one in as far as kind of making a dish for mommy but it’s another dish that’s not as spicy for the kids, so I’m totally with you on that one. Now, I’m just wondering about one other thing here. You mentioned about when we give prizes, it can be putting pressure on the kids too. So I definitely don’t want to do that, of course, for my kids, like, I don’t ever want to be kind of bullying them in the evenings. But at the same time, I want to encourage them to eat things. So what are some suggestions that you would say, as far as some verbiage that we can use when we’re trying to encourage our kids to eat foods, but not trying to pressure them into eating something by praising them? And then they feel like they have to eat it? Because they want to make mommy happy?

Unyime 25:41
That’s a great question. So first of all, I would talk about inviting them to eat. Something that works for most children is just saying you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. So right away, that takes away that pressure of Oh, now they’re going to expect me to eat takes away that pressure. And when you say that, you need to mean it. I know you were talking about he at least has to try. What if we don’t say that? You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. And that’s it. Whether they choose to eat, it doesn’t matter. Again, when it comes to the conversation, and they had the food. Oh, I noticed that you ate whatever this food is. What did you like about it? Did you like it? What do you think? Which other foods? Do you think you might want to try that tastes similar to this? Would you like foods that are a little bit different? So just following their cues, and meeting them where they’re at? I like using that one about you tried this? What was it about it? Tell me what you were thinking? Right? So sometimes for my kids, when we’re trying new things for them, it’s always about the texture. It’s like they’re really attached to crispy texture. So anything outside of that is like they’re very careful about it. So we talk a lot about texture. Okay, what did you like about it? Was it crunchy? Was it soft? How did you get to trying it out? What were you thinking? What were you feeling? Once we start thinking about those feelings and thoughts, then it helps us as parents, I was listening to your podcast, and someone had talked about the self coaching model, which is something that I use in my program as well. And I’ve taught my kids to know that the things that we’re thinking and how we’re feeling those impacts our actions. So if I’m able to know the thoughts that they were having when they were trying out that food, then I can support them, and encourage them. Okay, I see. That’s interesting. That’s another thing we can say, Oh, that’s interesting that you decided to eat this, and not the other one. What was that about? Tell me about it. So just being very curious and following their cues?

Real Happy Mom 27:46
Yes, definitely. And it’s funny because you said that your girls like crunchy my, the one that I was telling you that is bland that doesn’t like the spice or nothing. He doesn’t like crunchy.

Unknown Speaker 27:57
But it blows my mind. I’m like, Where did you

Real Happy Mom 28:00
grow? You like crunchy food. You don’t like any like sauces. He like literally like just like super plain, no crunch, nothing like it. He’s an interesting child. But I’m learning now like not to force them. And I like those questions. And she said, because I remember for a while, like, with the chicken nuggets, because I had chicken nuggets. I don’t know what it is about chicken nuggets seriously. I don’t like he was blowing my mind because you know the different. Different manufacturers make them a little bit different. So there’s certain chicken nuggets like he likes. So I ordered my food. And I use a grocery delivery app. So sometimes what will happen is I will get a substitute for the chicken nuggets that I ordered and oh my goodness, I got the the substitute and it wasn’t the one he liked. And oh my gosh, this big bag of chicken nuggets stayed in the freezer forever. And when I asked him I’m like, What is the deal? Like, why don’t you like and he’s like, Mommy, I don’t like crunchy. I don’t like the crunchy part. And I’m like, okay, that’s fair. So even like when I order fried chicken or anything like that for him, I have to make sure that I take the crunchy parts off. And like his fries. He doesn’t want his fries like extra crispy like they have to be like almost soggy Wow. Like is so yeah, I have to really be paying attention to like how I prepare his food. Because I don’t want to buy at dinner time because of it. But I love those questions that you brought up. Because I didn’t think about accident that way. Like what is it about it that you like but I do remember being like, sign like I’m wasting money like what’s going on? Like, tell me about these chicken nuggets because I need you to eat. And that’s when he expressed to me. I don’t like the crunchy. Yeah, and yes, then we’ve gotten better.

Unyime 29:45
Yeah, and I hear you on the chicken nuggets thing because that was the same thing for us. We went through probably three different brands until we found one that they all liked. And now my third child wouldn’t eat it. She’s the same. She doesn’t like crunchy, but she’ll eat corn If it’s fries, just not anything breaded, so no, I have to peel that. But I’m also teaching her that you know what, you can also take off the crunchy part yourself. So that’s another thing that we can do as moms, it’s like, we shouldn’t expect to do all the work ourselves. If our children are struggling, and we feel like we can empower them, then let’s ask them, okay, Come, let’s do it together, show me how you would like it. Or let me see how you want me to do it. Right? Because we always think that one day, they’ll grow up and then we’ll show them how to get in the kitchen or do foods. But from a very young age, we can get them involved in how food is being prepared, how we get the food to the table, this just helps them to see the other end of what comes out to the table for them. And then that gives them a little bit more appreciation of Okay, so when mommy’s making rice, there is salt that goes in there, and all these other things that go in there. Okay. Interesting. And then that’s where we can have a conversation like for my kids, there’s some times when we make fries, and it’s like, they won’t eat because it’s not salty enough. like can you imagine just something as simple as salt? So then we talk about it. Okay, so you like when food is really salty? What kinds of foods are salty again, the chips come up, which is why they like chips a lot. Right? So this is how we start to learn. And then when we’re meal planning, it helps us to to involve the children. What do you think would you would love to eat? Again, going back to creating that structure? If they expect that that food is coming? It’s easy to know, okay, even if I don’t get cookies today, on Wednesday, we’re gonna have cookies, and I can’t wait to have some. So just preparing their minds and getting them ready to just know that. Yes, you’re being listened to. And mommy’s working and supporting you.

Real Happy Mom 31:48
Yes, definitely. Now, I’m just wondering if there was any last words of encouragement or tips that you had, for us moms that are struggling with mealtime battles that can make it just a little bit easier for us?

Unyime 32:07
Oh, the internet just cut off when you said tips that you had.

Real Happy Mom 32:11
Okay. Oh, let me You know what, my son is streaming a bunch of videos and streaming video. Sorry, I was gonna turn off my video. And I was like, No, I like talking in senior face. But now I’m gonna ask that question again. And I’m going to edit all this, don’t you worry. So I was just wondering if there was any other last tips or words of encouragement that you had for us in regards to mealtime battles that can help make life just a little bit easier for us?

Unyime 32:41
That’s a great question. First of all, I just want us as mums to know that we’re ready doing great jobs. And like I talked about the myth where it’s like, it is your job as a mom to get your child to eat. We know that these are stories that we’ve told ourselves for years, it is my responsibility. So what if we could tell ourselves differently, that our children are smart, their bodies know what they need, and we can support them. When you get into that mindset, again, your thoughts, your feelings, they drive your actions. So when you get into that mindset of it’s not my responsibility, but I can support my child, it’s a lot easier for you to act in a way that supports your child. So we need to remember that and again, always name what matters to you, as a parent, you can see that mom who’s got you know, all the plates out and the fancy foods and all of that done and feel like you’re not doing enough. But does that really matter to your children at the end of the day? Does it matter that they’re eating with fancy plates? Or do they just want to sit and connect with you at the table? Because granted, they just want to connect? And that might mean just sitting on the ground, putting up food eating with your hands, if that’s what they want. But at the end of the day, just know that no matter what happens, no matter what struggles happen at meal times, your children love you. So you need to take that pressure off of yourself and stop stressing about whether or not you’re getting your child to eat. That’s just what I want to encourage moms. Yes, motherhood can be chaotic. mealtimes can often feel like it’s stressful. But we can thrive and we can just choose what matters and then let that lead us.

Real Happy Mom 34:19
Yes, definitely. And thank you so much for that. Now, if we want to learn more about you and the programs you have when it connect with you online, where can we find you? Awesome. Thank

Unyime 34:30
you. Since this is a podcast, they’re welcome to check out my podcast, the thriving mom podcast. It airs every Sunday we talk about simplifying nutrition. So we talk about things like nutrition, body image, self care for parents, and also just topics like this again, reducing the stress around meal times. I’m also on Instagram at all event bliss, wellness, and Facebook as well. I would love to connect. I always love chatting with people in my DMS and I actually have a website, all events this.ca people can check it out if they want to learn more about me and my programs. Yeah. And finally, I also have a free resource that parents can download to help them take the stress out of mealtimes, and also help their children to become healthy, competent eaters. That can be found on my website at Olive and blaze.ca slash eat. So e t.

Real Happy Mom 35:23
Awesome, awesome. And I’ll make sure to include those links in the show notes. Again, thank you so much for coming on. This has been so much fun, and I’ve learned so much from you. Thank you. So excited. Thank you for having me. Now, that does it for this week’s episode of the Real Happy Mom podcast. Make sure you check out the description for the link to get the show notes here with all of the links and everything that was mentioned here today in this podcast episode. And do me a favor. If you found this helpful, please leave me a five star rating review. This helps me out so so much and be so so grateful. And lastly, if you haven’t already, please make sure you join me in the Real Happy Mom Facebook community. This Facebook community is kind of like the after party here for the Facebook or this. This Facebook group is kind of like the after party here for the podcast in there, we’ll have some more encouragement and tips. And also, I do live monthly trainings to help you with using Trello to maximize your productivity and get your life organized. So make sure you join me over there. The link will be in the description below where you’re listening to this podcast. Now that’s it for this week. I’ll check you out next week. Take care and what’s lots of love.

 

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