Real Happy Mom

Practical tips and encouragement for moms

How to Make It to the End of the Day with Your Sanity Intact

Let’s just be honest, as moms, it seems like we have a million and one things to do. And there never seems to be enough time. Especially time to do things that we enjoy unless we are very, very intentional about getting those things done.

My guest Alyssa shares how we can be more like her in finding time every day for herself. And she does it with multiple kids around. 5 kids to be exact! And yeah, she still has time for herself every single day.

I want you to hear how she does it and see if some of the things that she shared, you can begin to implement. I know a lot of times you can hear these stories and think, yeah, that’s simple for you, but I have this going on. And yes, that’s true. But hear her out and listen to some of the techniques that she uses to get things done in the house as well as make sure that she has time for herself as a busy mom. This will leave you with your sanity intact at the end of the day.

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About Alyssa

Alyssa is a minimalism junkie, God follower, introvert, and perpetual bookworm. (Oh, and mom of 5.) She has 11+ years’ experience balancing multiple kids while still getting time to recharge. This is why she specializes in simplifying life for introverted moms (aka your stuff, your sanity, and your schedule). Because afterwards? You get to go make a difference in the world (and enjoy your kids a heck of a lot more!).

Connect with Alyssa

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Transcript of this episode

Toni-Ann Mayembe 0:05
You are listening to the real happy mom podcast, the weekly podcast for busy working moms to get inspiration, encouragement and practical tips for this journey called motherhood. My name is Toni-Ann. And you are listening to Episode 175. Hey there, and welcome back to another episode of The Real happy mom podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. And if this is your first time, Oh, welcome to the podcast. This week, I am super excited because I have a really awesome guest that is going to help us with just getting some more time for ourselves. Like, let’s just be honest, as moms, it seems like we have 1,000,001 things to do. And there never seems to be enough time, especially time to do things that we enjoy unless we are very, very intentional about getting those things done. So I definitely wanted to have my guest Alyssa come on and talk to us about how we can be more like her when she finds time every day for herself. And she does it with multiple kids around like, I was pretty shocked when she told me that she homeschools I want to say it was five kids. And yeah, she still has time for herself every single day. And so I wanted you to hear how she does it and see if some of the things that she shared, you can begin to implement because I know a lot of times you can hear these stories and be like, yeah, that’s simple for you. But I have this going on. And yes, that’s true. But hear her out and listen to some of the techniques that she uses to get things done in the house as well as make sure that she has time for herself as a busy mom. Now before we jump into this week’s episode, I wanted to make sure that you knew about the real happy mom wrench. Yes, real happy mom now has merged in I want to make sure that you get to sports on it, you get to have some of it. And yeah, I want you to look good. And I want you to get some of this merch. So head on over to Real happy mom calm slash merch, and you’ll be able to check out some of the things that I’m talking about there. There’s T shirts, totes, there’s phone cases, mugs though, so you can find something that works for you. And fits your style and budget. So again, real happy my merch is at real happy mom.com/merch Alright, now that we have that out of the way, let’s go ahead and jump on in to this week’s episode.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 2:40
Alright, so today I have a list on the podcast. Super excited to have you. Welcome to the podcast.

Alyssa Wolf 2:47
Thank you Toni-Ann. I’m excited to be here.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 2:49
Yes. And Happy Friday to you. We were just chit chatting over here. And I am really excited to talk to you about this particular episode as far as some mindfulness hacks. But before we jump into our topic for today, I want you to share a little bit about you and what you do.

Alyssa Wolf 3:08
Thanks. So as you said, my name is Alyssa. And I am a mom to five kids. Right now they’re ages two through 13. So that means I have over 11 years of experience balancing multiple kids while still getting time to myself in keeping my sanity every day. So that’s why I wanted to specialize in simplifying life for introverted moms everywhere, which includes your stuff as well as your schedule. Because once your life is simple, and you’re not dealing with that overwhelm every day, you can go and make the difference in the world you were put here for and you can enjoy being around your kids way more.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 3:42
Yes, I’m loving that. And Alyssa really quick. Like, I took the Myers Briggs test. And I found out that it was a big fat I and I thought it was a big E. You would think since I talked to people all the time that I would be an E but I am an eye and the reason why I was like at first I was like, Oh, this is a right. But then once I like accepted it and was like yeah, this is right. Was because I realized, like where I get my energy from so when I had a long day, like I don’t want to be around people, not even my my beautiful kids. Like I’m just like, leave me alone. Like let me go on my corner. Just relax. It’s like it. So when I saw that you talked to introverted moms. I was like, Yeah, that’s me too. That’s me too excited that we can connect on that level. But I know that you mentioned that you have experience with dealing with, you know, the kids and life. And I was just wondering if there was ever a point where you were just either feeling burned out or you just felt like you’re losing it. Like what led you to get to where you are now.

Alyssa Wolf 4:48
It actually was almost the opposite. It was more that I knew I wanted like two to three hours everyday to myself to read books because I’m a huge reader and that’s my recharging hobby. And I like reading Half the book or preferably the whole book in one sitting. So I started off with, like about when I had two kids saying, okay, so how can I structure my life so I can keep this? And I don’t get to where I see the other moms around me just absolutely. Zoo ified to you know everything.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 5:19
I like that. So you still managed to read whole books? Or at least you said half books even now?

Alyssa Wolf 5:25
Yes. So I still have the same kind of time, naptime schedule.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 5:29
Nice. Yeah, you’re gonna have to share the secret from that one. Because I know mine was a pilot. How did you get time to do that? And are you a speed reader? Well, a little bit, yes. So how did you start? Or where did you begin with setting up this time, so that you had the time everyday to to read?

Alyssa Wolf 5:52
Well, easiest thing for me to do at that point, less than naptime. I had my kids down from like one to 4pm every day when they, when my two oldest were just babies and toddlers. So they’ve grown up never knowing anything different. And then as I kept having kids, they all got that same schedule too. And then when they grew out of naps, I said, Okay, this is your room time, you do not have to be with your siblings, you do not have to share anymore, you can just do something all by yourself. So I kind of sold it to them his personal refreshment time. So you know, you can quit with the schoolwork, you can quit with the chores, go take a break and do something fun. So that’s where I began was taking the three hours to myself in the afternoon. So no matter how crazy the morning and lunchtime got, I knew I had that time to look forward to.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 6:40
I love it, love it. Now, you mentioned during the day, but I know a lot of the moms that are listening are busy working moms, and at the end of the day, at least I’m raising my hand saying for me, that is when you feel like you’re gonna lose it. So I’m wondering, how can moms make it to the end of the day with their sanity attack? Like, what do you have for us on that one.

Alyssa Wolf 7:05
So first thing is make sure you’re getting that time to yourself, if you’re at home with your kids, by the naptime that really helps me hit the dinner homework thing was a lot of energy, instead of being at the end of my rope, and then still having to deal with schoolwork and chores and kitchen cleaned up and kitchen cooking and all that. So if you’ve already had a pocket of time to yourself, will have to pay attention to your needs, not just your to do list needs because the to do list is going to be screaming at you all day long. The other has debts and then the other. But you are way more important and your energy doesn’t necessarily correspond to your to do list, right?

Toni-Ann Mayembe 7:49
Yeah, definitely.

Alyssa Wolf 7:51
So what I like to do is suggest you check in with yourself at a couple points during the day, maybe before you start the day, and partway through the morning. And then if you’re at home with small kids around nap time, and you look and say, Okay, how much energy do I personally have right now? And do I need to, like leave the rest of my to do list for tomorrow, instead of pushing through and saying, but I have five more things left, when you’re just totally wiped from the kids.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 8:21
Got it. Got it. Now, you shared one thing that really stood out to me here, and that was pay attention to your needs. And I think that that is one of those things that is, is simple, but not always easy for us as moms because we see that list of things that we need to get done, or we see the house is a mess, and we feel like we have to get those things done. But I’m wondering if it’s do you have to? Or do you find that you have to either like you know, get away from those things are like how do you get yourself to be like, Okay, no, like, we’re not going to go back in the kitchen and wash dishes and, and start meal prep. And we’re gonna actually go and sit down and have some quiet time, so that you can have time for yourself because again, as an introverted Mom, we need times by ourselves, like, that’s how we feel recharged. So I’m wondering how you do that?

Alyssa Wolf 9:16
Absolutely. So I like to shove all my to dues either post nap time, or pre nap time, preferably more like the morning because that’s when my highest energy times. So the question is, when is your highest energy time because it might not be 5am like all the productivity people want to try to tell us. Then I’m looking at really paring down my to do list and saying okay, but does this really have to get done today? I mean, if your kitchen is, you know, an entire crumbs. All right, you do need to clean the kitchen, but if it looks pretty good and there are some crumbs, and you’re totally out of energy. Do you really have to do it now? It’s that kind of huh? Can I bump this without any repercussions. So you’re getting rid of all the nice to haves for that to do list and just saying, Okay, what do I need? Do I have suffer today? Do I have you know, is there a cleaning chore that really has to get done today? Because I have no time tomorrow? Then, you know, because they’re all changed and fed and dropped off at school, that kind of a thing. And, you know, forget the organized the closet projects.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 10:24
Yeah, no, that that’s good. Because I know that there have been many times that I will walk past the kitchen, and I’ll be like, Oh my gosh, like that little piece of paper or that, you know, pile of food that my kids forgot to scrape into the trash can is really irking me. So I’m gonna go clean it up. Next thing you know, I’m in there. 20 minutes later, and I’m still cleaning up, because there’s always something more that you can do. So I love that you said the nice to haves. We can put that to the side. Because, yeah, there’s a lot of nice to have that I am learning now that I can those can wait. Those can definitely wait. Yes. No, Alyssa, I know that you also talk about some ways that we can invite some more mindfulness hacks for us as busy moms. So I was wondering, what are some easy mindfulness hacks that we can implement? Or some that have actually helped change our life?

Alyssa Wolf 11:24
Sure. So these are maybe quite usual questions, but I found it really helpful for me. Number one was, what would I love to get done today and limit yourself to three things total? So don’t start with this really cramped to do this? And it’s not? What should I get done today? It’s what would I like to get done today? What’s my personal priority?

Toni-Ann Mayembe 11:48
Yes, yes, I like that question. Because I know a lot of times, I think I will see my to do list and be like, okay, like, how much can I cram? Like, in two hours? Like, let’s do it. But I love that question definitely helps to highlight what I really want in need to get done. Because I know a lot of times our to do list is a lot, but there’s certain things that I know will make us feel like we had a great day or make us feel successful. So I love how you highlight it with that question.

Alyssa Wolf 12:19
Exactly. Because we want to find out what that successful day is going to be with for ourselves. That’s how we’re gonna end the day feeling really happy about it. So the second question is, back to what we talked about earlier, what needs to get done, you might have some really deep tough cleaning that has to get done, and you’re not really thrilled about it. But it might still have to go on your list. So we do want to be aware that there might be a couple of things on your list that aren’t really, I don’t know, joy giving, but they still do need to be in there. So just ask yourself, Okay, so anything that absolutely must happen is just one of those go do it items that I’m gonna need to talk myself, you know, talk myself up into doing.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 12:59
Gotcha, gotcha. I like that.

Alyssa Wolf 13:01
And then the last thing is, what do I feel like doing next, you’ve got your list of what you want to get done to feel like it was a good day, you got your list to this absolutely must happen today. So which of those things do you feel most like doing? We usually think productivity is all about, okay, Max, you know, bang for but timewise? And which one should I do first? And what’s the biggest job or something? What if you just said, Which of these sounds easiest, which of these are my most motivators to do instead of trying to force yourself into some random person’s idea of the best one to do next?

Toni-Ann Mayembe 13:38
Yeah, definitely. Because I know I’ve really had to focus on what is important for me and not what others think I should be doing. Because it’s easy to get in the trap of feeling like, oh, I have to get this done in this time when? Yeah, I don’t even have the energy for half of that. So I love those questions. So really, I just wanted to recap those because they were really good is what do what would I love to get done today? What needs to get done? And what do I feel like doing next? Those are so so good.

Alyssa Wolf 14:10
Yeah, because they don’t help you see where your energy is, you might have a couple different things in your to do list and one is sitting at the computer researching something. And then the other one is, you know, three loads of laundry. And the researching might be really, really important to do. So you can do that when when your brain is stomped out. And it’s important and then maybe when you’re refreshed, you will have the energy for the laundry. I mean, I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me. I said, I cannot do this. I should really force myself to push through and I chose not to I chose to go off my interview energy needs. And I did the easier thing on my list first and then two hours later, I suddenly jumped up by it felt like a ton of energy again. I wanted to break I wanted to get off my rear end. And I went and did that thing in like 10 minutes.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 14:55
Yeah, no, I’m totally with you. No, Alyssa, I’m just sitting here thinking about, you know, all of these things in how I can definitely implement a lot of this right now. Um, but I’m just thinking about the mom who is trying to do better about making herself a priority. And, you know, doing better as far as implementing more of those wellness habits. Because I know, a lot of times we think like, oh, you know, self cares, like, I need to go to a Bobath, get a massage, which all is nice. But there are other things that will definitely help build us up. And I think a lot of times we forget about some of those basic things like sleep and drinking enough water, and eating nutritious food. So I’m just wondering, what are some of the habits that you’ve implemented, especially a mom and multiple kids, so that you’re making sure that you’re getting yourself taken care of.

Alyssa Wolf 15:56
First thing, absolute top priority is getting quiet. Since you’re an introvert, you understand this, I have to have time where the kids are not coming in every five minutes, or even every 15 minutes and asking me to go look at their block towers, you know, referee the sibling fights, or, you know, so and so poked me and called me names. I need that quiet and that break from them. And that is the number one thing on my list. The second thing is I tend to need time to process whether that’s you know, journaling or thinking out loud, I need time to go through my day and just work out stuff I didn’t even know was bugging me kind of thing. Just kind of wind down from to do to do to do or even reading a book, you know, they’re sick of being in between letting yourself just think and just be. So I like to either journal or go for a walk by myself for that. It’s something that really makes me feel balanced. And I had enough time and space in my day. If I have enough time to go into Walker journal, I feel like I have luxurious amount of time.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 17:05
Oh, yeah, I am definitely with you on that one. I definitely would love to get out and take a walk in journal every day. But the days I do do it, I feel like I’m the queen bee around here. I’m like, Yes, I did it.

Alyssa Wolf 17:18
Yes. And then it helps you feel a little more virtuous, too, because it’s like I can find movement with journaling. It’s not just oh, I took time to journal. Who would look at me, it’s no, no, I’m just getting my steps. And you know, I was getting the energy in the workout almost. So that’s how I some usually trick myself into doing movement. Say, I really need to think about this. So I want some time to myself. So just go pace around the living room. You’ll be happier afterwards.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 17:45
Yes, yes, definitely. Because it has been many times that I’m like, okay, like my step count isn’t looking so great, because I still wear my old Fitbit. And it will still say 2000 steps. And that is like not good at five o’clock. So I’m pacing around the house is definitely a good one to get those steps in. But also, like you said, keep your movement going so that we’re keeping ourselves in tip top shape here, but I’m loving this. Alyssa, you’ve given us a lot of really great things that I know that, you know, at least one thing that we can do to at least make our evenings in our days, not feel so, so crazy and chaotic, especially at the end of the day. Because like I said, at the end of the day, that’s when it’s like, I’m starting to slowly unravel. So I’m loving all these things that you’ve given us. But I’m wondering if there’s anything else that you didn’t get to mention that you wanted to talk to us about? Before we signed off.

Alyssa Wolf 18:46
Just make sure you’re getting some time before evening. As you said, when you’re working and you’ve got kids, you often it’s like the late evening is your only chance to take a break and recuperate. But I don’t know about you but I can’t go 810 12 hours, full on with family and work and just make it through and you know, good mindset happy mom, you know, parenting? Well. I really need to build an A break somewhere earlier. Because if I shut everything after the evening, there’s still you know, kitchen clean up and getting prepped for the next day because I’m a big believer in that. And then you want to spend time with your husband and then pretty soon it’s like, shoot, I should really go to bed. But wait, I haven’t had my meantime. So I like to be a little unconventional and try to schedule your time for yourself in earlier in the day. So it’s not too much on your evening.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 19:39
Yes, yes. I love it. Love it. Now. I really appreciate everything that you have shared with us today. I know that there are moms that are listening that probably want to hear more from you as far as any more practical things that can help with making our day to day lives easier. Or just want to learn more about us So I’m wondering where can we find you online if we want to connect with you.

Alyssa Wolf 20:04
Go to your unbusy life.com. And there’ll be a new podcast episode every Tuesday for

Toni-Ann Mayembe 20:12
perfect, perfect, I will make sure to include those links in the show notes, as well as any other social media links that you may have. There will be all in the show notes. Thank you again, Alyssa, this has been so much fun talking to you. Same here Tinian.

Toni-Ann Mayembe 20:32
Now that does it for this week’s episode of The Real happy mom podcast. To find the links in Show Notes head on over to raw happy mom.com/ 175. There you will find the Cliff’s Notes version of this podcast episode, as well as all of the links that were mentioned here today. And do me a favor. If you found this podcast episode helpful, believe me a five star rating review to let me know that you enjoyed it. And if you are like Tony, and I don’t even know how to do that, do me a favor to share this with another mom friend that you know, could use some help some inspiration, some encouragement, or just some of these practical things that we share here on the podcast. It would help me out so much and I’d be super, super grateful. And yeah, sharing is caring. So share it with a friend. All right. Now that does it for this week. I’ll be back again next week for another full episode. Take care and

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