Real Happy Mom

Practical tips and encouragement for moms

Practical Tips for Parenting When You Are Stressed and Overwhelmed (COVID-19 Series)

LISTEN: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | STITCHER

I see you. You’re trying to hold it together.

But you’re stressed out and exhausted and feel like you don’t have anything left to give.

Then you add in all of the feelings that have come along with the COVID-19 pandemic.

I totally get it. You’re stressed and overwhelmed with parenting during this time. You are not alone.

And thanks to my guest Rachel, you will have what you need to be loving mom life again.

Tips to get your child to leave you alone so that you can get work done.

Trying to work from home with your kids at home can be challenging, especially if your kids are constantly interrupting you and trying to get your attention.

At the time of the podcast recording, we’re in the COVID-19 pandemic. So kids are getting more or attention because we’re home. But less of it at the same time.

As a result, they are going to seek our attention and interrupt us more when we start work.

Rachel shares some practical ways to handle this so that you can work in a less distraction-free zone and get work done.

Have a set time during the week that you will give your undivided attention to your child.

Having scheduled time for your child can be a time to play or do whatever their heart desires.

Whenever your child comes in while you’re working, just remind them that you have, for instance, Wednesday at noon when you’re going to play. But not right now.

When kids know that their time is coming, they’re less likely to be jumping on us and trying to get our attention. A lot of kids will jump on us because they don’t know when they’re gonna get our attention.

So having a set time is highly recommend.

Let your child know what and when you have to get work done.

I am assuming that your child is a least 4 or 5 years old or can understand things at a basic level.

You can talk to your child and let them know what you’re working on and when they can expect you to be finished.

By doing this, you set the expectation that mommy is going to be working on her big project from 11 to 3 with the people at work.

Establish a “not now space.”

A “not now space” is an area that if your kids see you in they know not now or it better be important.

They can’t run up to mommy and ask random questions. You let your child know that when mommy is sitting here, no interruptions unless it’s an emergency.

But before you go to your “not now space,” make sure to get them going with an activity or their favorite show.

And also, let your child know when you’re going to be done based on their doing.

For instance, you tell little Billy that you’re going to be done working after they watch Thomas the Train 2 times.

Make sure to engage before you leave.

Before you go off to your “not now space,” make sure your child is engaged with something before you leave.

Giving your child a few minutes of attention before you go off to work will help satisfy them for a while so that they don’t start attention-seeking behaviors once you’re ready to start working.

This then sets you up for better success.

Practical Tips for Parenting When You Are Stressed and Overwhelmed

Tips for reducing exhaustion and overwhelm for working moms

Being a working mom is challenging. You go to work and work hard.

Then you have to come home and give your family energy that sometimes you don’t have to offer.

So what are some ways to help with reducing exhaustion and overwhelm?

They’re really two ways to minimize burnout and overwhelm. One is to change the situation.

This can include changing what time you come home from work so that you’re back earlier.

Maybe asking your partner to help with the evening routine so that when you come home, there’s less for you to do.

Or maybe having your partner switch days that they go home early with you. Even speeding up the evening routine so that bath time doesn’t take so long.

Changing your mindset

If you’re like most moms, you can’t change your situation. So try changing your mindset and expectations.

Instead of having the hope that you’re going to spend quality time with your kids every day because you’re working from home due to the pandemic, shift to something realistic.

Also, let your kids know what to expect when it comes to spending quality time so that you can remove some of the overwhelm.

Also, stop trying to control things that you can’t control.

I’m talking about trying to control other people, the traffic, the future. Trying to control any or all of these things only creates discomfort.

The only thing that is in our control is how we think and how we behave.

Remember this when you are trying to get your kid to do something. You can really control them.

But you can influence the way they act by the way you conduct yourself.

Be mindful of the way that you react and how you behave in front of your kids. Remember to focus on what you can control.

Have realistic expectations

You already have a lot to do between work and home. Then you’re adding even more expectations to you’re already busy days.

For instance, you’re working from home and trying to keep up with everything that you did before the pandemic.

Now you are trying to add spending more time with your kids on your already overwhelming schedule.

So instead of shift your expectations, you increased them. Then you wonder why you’re miserable.

It’s not only because you got cabin fever and are ready to get out of the house.

Remember to keep your expectations realistic instead of trying to be supermom and do it all.

The way to do this is to check your priorities. Many times we treat everything with equal importance, and everything has to get done. And get done well.

That’s a recipe for disaster.

How you determine what is the priority that needs your attention now is based on your values.

Practical Tips for Parenting When You Are Stressed and Overwhelmed

Put it on the later list.

One way to help with prioritizing is by utilizing a later list. This is a to-do list of things that can be done later.

It just won’t get done right this second, and that allows us to prioritize and not panic when we’ve moved a couple of things off our list.

Right now, you may not have all of the help that you’re used to. For instance, you don’t have help with cleaning or a baby sitter that could watch the kids for a few hours once a week.

Instead of pressuring yourself to deep clean your house on top of working from home, put it on the later list.

You may be frustrated because your kids are on screens more. That’s fine.

Put it on your later list that you’re going to address the screen time later. Not now.

Let your kids be on screens if they need to be on screens.

In fact, instead of saying your kids are only allowed two hours of screentime, say we’re gonna make sure we have two hours off of screens. And have an excellent two hours on no screen time.

You can readdress the expectations for screens when everything’s back to normal, and the corona pandemic is over.

A simple tip to help you be in the moment with your child

Many times we beat ourselves up to be more present with our kids. But let’s be honest. When you are exhausted, or you are just over it, it is impossible to be in the moment all of the time.

If you are like me and you struggle with being in the moment with your kids. One tip that Rachel gave that works like a charm is what she calls asking a further question.

It is simple. All you have to do is look up from what you are doing. See what your kids are doing. Then ask them a question about what they’re doing.

For example, your kids are doing crafts on the table. You look up and ask your child a question about their arts. You could ask, why did you choose that color? Or what color are you going to use next?

Proposing a new question will help you to be in the moment and won’t cost a ton of time. Think about it.

If you commit to doing this 3-4 times a day for 30 seconds each, it only cost you 2 minutes of your time.

Toni-Ann Hylton Mayembe signature

About Rachel

Rachel Bailey is a Parenting Specialist who has been serving families for over a decade.

Besides being a mother of two, she also has a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, a certification in Positive Discipline, and has provided services as an ADHD Coach, in-home mentor, and therapist.

Currently, Rachel teaches parents practical, longterm tools for raising responsible, resilient, confident children…while reducing the stress and guilt in parents’ lives.

Links mentioned in this episode.

Check out the other episodes in the COVID-19 series.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to the Real Happy Mom podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do it today.

I don’t want you to miss any upcoming episodes. I am planning on adding some bonus episodes that you won’t find on this website, and if you’re not subscribed, you might miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

I would be so happy and grateful if you left me a review on iTunes too. Reviews help iTunes to know that this is a podcast for other moms so that other moms can find this podcast. Plus, it makes my day to read the reviews.

Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thanks in advance!

Don’t have iTunes? You can subscribe to the podcast Google Podcast, Anchor, Spotify, Breaker, Castbox, Overcast, RadioPublic, and Stitcher.

Related blog post

Check out the other episodes in the COVID-19 series.

Featured Mom Win

This week’s mom win comes from Huda @hudasglow (was @blushesandbutterflies at the time of the recording)

If you want to share your mommy win and be featured on the podcast, go to Instagram and follow me @realhappymom. Then go to the DMs and say, hey. Press and hold the microphone button on the lower right-hand side of the screen, then tell me your name, IG handle, tell us what you do and how you are winning. Anything big or small is welcome, we want to celebrate with you.

Leave me a message about this episode


Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

error: This content is protected.