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If there was one area that I could go back and time in and change in my life, it would be preparing for maternity leave when I had my first son. As a recent grad with student loans and no savings, taking 3-month maternity leave wasn’t something that I could afford.
Unfortunately, the United States did not have a federal paid maternity leave like other countries like Estonia, Portugal, and New Zealand. As a new mom I wanted to be home with my baby, but the reality was I had to go back to work to make sure that my baby was provided for. The sad part is many moms experience this. I was able to take 6-week maternity leave, but I have heard of moms going back to work as soon as 2 weeks after having a baby.
Instead of wishing that I could go back and change those days, I want other expecting moms to know that you plan and prepare your ideal maternity leave. You don’t have to rush back to work because you have to.
In today’s episode, my guest Sue and Amy are going to help us learn how we can do just that. In this episode, Sue and Amy share:
- What parental leave looks like in this country today
- Where moms-to-be need to start to negotiate this major life and career transition
- The top three things expecting parents taking parental leave should do to protect their current and future career
- Things that parents should keep in mind after parental leave
If you are an expecting mom, dad, or know some that are, this episode is definitely for you. Check out the full episode to learn mom.
About Sue & Amy
Dr. Amy Beacom is the founder and CEO of the Center for Parental Leave Leadership, the first consultancy in the US to focus exclusively on parental leave. She consults with Fortune 100 companies, international organizations, working parents, and more to transform the way our companies and our country engage with the parental leave transition. She’s the co-author of the Parental Leave Playbook, with Sue Campbell, who’s the communications director for the Center for Parental Leave Leadership. They are both with us today.
Connect
Blog/Website: http://cplleadership.com/book
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/centerforparentalleaveleadership
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cplleadership/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/cplleadership
Freebie: http://cplleadership.com/book
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Transcript of this episode
Real Happy Mom 0:05
listen to the podcast. Inspiration, encouragement to this journey. My name is Tony, and you are listening to Episode 159. Recently, I was surprised to learn that 1/3 of Americans are living with extreme stress. And sadly, this effect is only been compounded by the pandemic. This has left millions of people like you and me trying to figure out how to cope with the ever increasing pressures from work and life. And trust me, I know all about it. One day I had tried submit by cielo when I was at work because I was super stressed dealing with some difficult kids. One kid actually beat me so hard and it took everything inside of me not to lose my cool. So I went back to my office pot, two minutes, and after 10 minutes, my nerves were calm, and I didn’t feel like I need to go home and have a glass or two of wine powered by CBD elements helped me to feel calm and clear minded throughout my day, no matter how hectic things get, each 10 contains 30 minutes total. And they come in three delicious flavors. And now for a limited time, you can get 15% off the elements and give them a try. Simply go over to elements comm slash real and use the coupon code real that stello S T E ll o mint.com/realandusethecouponcoderealforfifteenpercentoffwellheythereandwelcomebacktoanotherepisodeoftherealhappymompodcastsuperexcitedforthisparticularepisodetodayihavesueandamyonwhoaregoingtobesharingwithussometipswhenitcomestoparentalleavehereintheunitedstatesonethingthatiamalittlebitashamedofinparticularintheunitedstatesthereisnopaidmaternityleaveandmotherswillbestressedtryingtofigureouthowtotaketimeoffhowtoevenaffordtimeoffandalsothinkingaboutyouknowhowtheycantaketimeoffwithoutbeingpenalizedorbeingsabotagedwhenitcomestotheirjobandcomingbackfrommaternityleaveso. I’m super excited to have Amy and Sue on from the center of parental leave leadership. And today, they’re going to be sharing a lot of really, really good information. In particular, they start by sharing with us how things are looking right now in the country. And at the time of this recording is still in the process. I’m hoping that things have changed a little bit more. And we’re getting closer to having a federal paid leave policy. But they also shared with us what we can do to start to negotiate this major life change and share with us what we need to start negotiating when it comes to his major life and career transition. Because a lot of times, it will be looked at as an inconvenience when we get pregnant and needs to take maternity leave. But it doesn’t have to be that way in sue me share how is actually a really good thing that we need to take maternity leave. And then lastly, they share with us some of the top things that we should be doing before and after we return from maternity leave so that we can set ourselves up to continue to move up when it comes to our career. Because if you are anything like me, I know that as a working mom, you care about your job and want to make sure that not only are you able to financially support your family, but you also have a career that you enjoy, and something that you are looking forward to when you come back. So definitely want to make sure that you listen to this if you are expecting planning on having a child or you know someone that’s going to be having a child here soon, you get to listen to this episode, the lady shares some gyms that I think are just so so good. And like I said, I wish I would have known about this before but it’s okay because now you’re going to hear about it and you’re going to know how to set yourself up for an awesome maternity leave and awesome return from maternity leave. So let us go ahead and jump on into this week’s episode. Because I don’t want to ramble on anymore. I want you to hear all this wonderful goodness. So let’s go ahead and jump on in. Alright, so today I have two awesome guests on the podcast. I am like super pumped about that because I think this is a first for real happy mom. But I have Su and Amy on so welcome both of you to the podcast.
Sue 4:38
Thank you so much for having us. Yes, yeah.
Real Happy Mom 4:41
Yes. I’m excited to talk to both of you because like we were talking about before I hit record, I was just kind of sharing some of my experiences when it comes to parental leave and just taking time off while I was having my kids. And even though my kids are a lot older I really think that this message is so than that, we need to get out to more moms. And the secret doesn’t need to be kept to myself. So that’s why we have these wonderful ladies on today on the podcast to talk about how we can set ourselves up for parental leave, and not be all stressed and, and worried and actually have time to enjoy it too, as well. So before we jump into that, Amy and Sue, if you don’t mind sharing a little bit about you and what you do.
Amy 5:28
My name is Amy beacom. I am the founder and CEO of the Center for parental leave leadership. We are the first consulting company in the country to focus exclusively on parental leave, or about seven years old. We do everything from policy, to practice, coaching, assessment, research for companies, coaching for employees, training for managers, anything to do with parental leave, figuring out how to do it within your company, or how to do it as an individual where we do it. And I come from a background of executive development, leadership and coaching. And when I had my first child, I was really blown away by the experience and transitioned my work into focusing on creating a field of parental leave coaching. So that is a little bit about me.
Sue 6:26
I’m Sue Campbell, and I’m the Communications Director for the Center for parental leave leadership. And I started working with Amy, right before I got pregnant with my second child and learned a lot about how I could shift the experience that I had with my first child with my second child through working with her and was able to really take charge of that second leave experience, and have just been wonderfully excited about the possibilities that exist to improve parental leave in this country. And Amy is a very futuristic thinker. So seeing what is possible through her visionary eyes, is very exciting. And we have, you know, all of the tools that we use in other areas of our lives, we can apply to this timeframe. And we can start to you know, manage up as expecting parents and as dedicated working people to show the country a better way, right, because we’re still waiting for systemic change. It’s starting to be in process. But everybody has a role to play in that just like with any other social issue.
Real Happy Mom 7:33
Yes, definitely. And one of the other things that I was sharing with you is about my two very different experiences with my two children. So for my first son, I literally had him, oh, probably six months after I graduated dental school. So I’m a brand new dentist, and I’m having a baby. And that was another thing. I know, my employers are probably mad at me like because I hid my pregnancy. And I didn’t tell them, but I needed that job. Like, yeah, you’re not alone. I had my son. And the first question they asked me was like, are you coming back? And I’m like, Heck, yeah, I’m coming back. Like I need a job I need. Like, I just graduated school and I got student loans. And so literally six months to the day, I was back to work. And I felt like it was all too soon. And it was really hard for me to go back to work. Like I cried every day. I think that’s a lot of moms but cried every day and felt guilty and went through the whole whole experience of just feeling like you know, I didn’t do enough. So when I got pregnant with my second son, I was like, I am not doing that over again. So I made sure that I set myself up so that I could take the full three months if I wanted to. Because I started to go crazy a little towards the end. And I was like I didn’t go back to work. But if I wanted to I could stay home those three months. But the crazy thing is is like my parents are Jamaican, so a lot of my family members they will call and accent be like, yeah, so you getting paid on maternity leave. And I’m like, Nah, like, that doesn’t happen in America. I was like, No, and like even some like other people overseas, that’d be like, yeah, so you get paid maternity and I’m like, no, like, I literally had to save up three months of expenses in order to take three months off and that just like was like blowing everyone’s mind. They’re like, why What do you mean, they didn’t pay for maternity leave? And I’m like, No, that’s not what what happens. And I learned a lot from other moms like who had to go back quickly. So I felt like I wasn’t alone. And then I didn’t feel so bad but I was just wondering if either Sue or Amy if you could just share like what it parental leave is actually looking like today in this country and we’re talking about in the US here cuz I know I have listeners all over but talking about in the US.
Amy 9:49
Sue, I’ll jump in at any time but I just I what you just described is so common and I think the mind blowing piece for people who look at us from others. countries is the same when people here understand what’s happening everywhere else. But the US. Like, once you got 52 weeks paid what your spouse or partner does to you know that those kinds of things are just so mind boggling. But we are the only industrialized country in the entire world that does not have a federal paid leave policy. And so, in terms of paid leave, we’re in a really interesting moment, historically, literally, right now, the infrastructure bill that just passed the House last week. We say, sorry, so what it passed
Sue 10:41
the Senate in early August, and now this house is agreed to vote on the paid leave piece.
Amy 10:47
Yeah. So that the whole bill has not passed, but the budget reconciliation process is happening. And it is the first time if this goes through that we would have a federal paid leave policy in the US. And there’s a possibility that could happen before the end of the year. And, you know, there’s a lot of hurdles, of course, but it is the part of the bill, one of the parts of the bill that has really strong bipartisan support, because everybody needs it. This is not something that is, you know, needs to be political. So that is a very exciting time in us, we’ll see what happens with it. But even if this version doesn’t go through, and we think that it is likely to something will soon right, like we will have, we will have that soon.
Sue 11:41
And there are a number of states and Washington DC who have sort of taken matters into their own hands and have paid leave policies, either already, you know, in effect, or going into effect within the next year or two Oregon, where we are, for example, has one that’s going to be going into effect soon. So it’ll also be interesting to see how if we get a federal policy, how that will impact states that already have one or we’re planning to have one. And it’s also going to be really interesting to see what employers do with that, right? There’s been sort of a one upsmanship, among progressive companies for offering paid leave when they don’t have to as a recruiting tool. And it’s going to be really interesting to see what happens. And one of the things that’s really exciting for us is, Amy said for a long time, like we will have a federal paid leave policy that’s kind of a foregone conclusion, it’s just a matter of when, but how are we going to get everybody ready for the practice side of that that’s involved where you truly have a family friendly workplace, where people feel empowered to actually use that benefit. And they’re not penalized for it in subtle ways when they come back.
Real Happy Mom 12:58
Yeah, you brought up something really good there. Because I I’ll be honest, like, even if there was a pay leave policy, like right now, like, I probably be scared to take it just because I know that like, let’s just be honest, like, I know, I’m replaceable. And I know that they can, you know, hire someone else. And. And I’m in Florida too. So they have the whole atwill. So they can replace me if they want to for whatever reason. But I’m just thinking about, you know, the moms who are listening, you know, what are some of the things that they should take into consideration when they want to protect their current and future career when it comes to parental leave?
Sue 13:38
Well, I think one of the things that you have on your side, but it takes some education of the people around you, is the incredible growth opportunity that is becoming apparent. Right. So I think we all in the room and Amy said this for years and years, this is a totally overlooked leadership development, personal development window of time. So educating your employer on that, actually, I’m going to get some amazing skills out of this that I’ll be able to bring back to the workplace. Nobody can get stuff done like mom’s right, no money, right, we become more efficient, we become better at prioritizing. We know what is important to us. We’re not about wasting any time at all. We’re all about the result and not about wasting time. So going in to your leave with an attitude of I’m going to come out stronger and a better employee and a better person at the end of this and really educating those around you that you’re really excited about what this means for your potential and for your growth and how can we set this up so that the team wins while you’re gone? Who needs succession planning, right, who needs to be trained up a little and can come up into your role while you’re gone? so people can be cross trained, how can we use this to improve processes, so everybody has a standard operating procedure manual that you can create on your way out? Or how can we use this to improve communication across the team, right? There are so many opportunities to use this to just make yourself an absolute Rockstar at work. right not to say, again, like the system is broken, it’s not our job to like, fix the system. But going in knowing that you a lot of the load is going to be on you, and it’s up to you to make the best of it, well, at least prepare you to just go in with that attitude, and be ready to deal with your Brockie or parts of it. And really try to look for the opportunities for growth and where you can also bring everybody else up and raise awareness around those issues.
Amy 15:50
I love Tony, and how you’re asking how to protect your career, because there’s so many practical things that you could do. And so it’s just going over some of them. And another another way to think about protecting your career is being in love with your career, being in love with what you do. And I know that’s not possible for everyone. But when you really think about, Okay, I’m going to be evolving during this time I’m becoming a new person, there’s, there’s a whole new me that I can I can look to on the other side, that then becomes an opportunity for you to be open to to that new you that career may change, that trajectory may change, you may have different values that you didn’t know you were going to embrace on, you know, before you became a parent. And so really getting clear on being okay with that, first of all, being open to that going into it with an open heart and then getting clarity around your values and what they are, can in is a way to protect your career as well. Because the what we’ve seen happen with so many parents, moms and dads who, who are just in some kind of a job that they they end up not feeling connected to after they become parents, that they there’s this thing called presenteeism and presenteeism is where you show up, you do your work, you get your paycheck, but you really hate being there. You’re just, you’re just dialing it in. And so that’s the worst place that you we don’t want that for any parents, what we’re always working towards is this goal of, of happiness in your career and in your personal life, and really being able to have one compliment the other.
Real Happy Mom 17:38
You know, I was just sitting here just thinking about that too, because I will say the one thing, that one good thing that I’ve gotten from this whole pandemic was that I realized that I actually love what I do, just because I had to spend some time away or not work as much. So I realized that, but I’m just thinking about the moms who actually do love what they do. And you know, they’re afraid of either being replaced, or either, you know, they come back and their position is changed that kind of thing. Is there any other things that we can do to make sure that we’re protected in that sense?
Amy 18:17
Yeah, I think the most I mean, just in a real practical way, if you go in to your parental leave thinking about your return, there’s this thing I say, the best way to prepare for leave is to plan your return. And what I’m saying is I’m trying to get people to move into that future point and actually plan it. So create your leave plan where you’re off boarding your work, you’re choosing who you’re off boarding it to, then take it a step further and plan how you’re going to pick it back up, make have those conversation with those teammates, I’m going to come in, I’m going to take this piece the first week, I’ll pick up this next one two weeks later. And then share that plan with your you know, create it and share it with your entire team and your manager so that everyone knows exactly what’s going to happen, then there’s no room for somebody to come in and take this piece or start to get too invested in it and and then come back and there’s a you know, weirdness around it. So that’s, that’s one thing. The other thing I would say is really understand what you have working for you and against you in your transition. And so we talked about that in terms of your assets and your liabilities and how they impact you at this time. And so we have a tool called the parental leave transition assessment, which is a really wonderful evidence based tool we’ve been honing and refining over the last Gosh, I’ve been working on it for about 15 years. But what it does is it gives you a snapshot of your life at this moment of time and transition in six different areas of your life, you’re the Scituate, we call it the six s system situation yourself your strategies, your supports, sabotages both internal and external. And then suggestions is a success, which is like a feedback loop opportunity. And what that does is this report and there’s a process to do it without the report, which is free on our, on our website, if anybody’s interested. But that allows you to say, okay, these are some things in my situation that are really horrible, are really great. But look at, I have these strategies over here that I’m really strong at, and I can use those to navigate this better. So being very clear on what you have, where your strengths are, where your weaknesses are, I think is also another way to protect your career and, and grow it. Right, right, your skill set.
Sue 20:56
And this situation, one for the kinds of things that you’re talking about Tony, and that situation S is really important to really think through like, is my boss supportive? Is the boss above my boss actually supportive? Or is that person, you know, seem to really target people who take time off and doesn’t, you know, they those people end up getting demoted or somehow suddenly penalized, right? Really look at the the situation and the environment that you’re in. So you can identify, where are the places where I’m going to need another strategy or some kind of support, right? Take a cold, hard look at everything that’s going on. And then what are the assets that you can apply to that to minimize those liabilities and those potential sabotages and everybody’s gonna have a different set of those, you know, and I think it’s also really important to remember, like, one of the things you alluded to toniann is, when I come back to work, all the sudden, my job has changed. Don’t snap to the judgment, that that is a problem, or that you’re being penalized. That happened to me, when I returned, after having my first child, I was working in a human resources department for a city government. And I came back to work and we were doing the software implementation across the whole organization. And they said, Hey, you’re really amazing. And your work that you left is kind of handled right now. So we could actually really use you up over here. Right. And so I could have said, you’re taking my job away from me, right, you’re moving the ball on me, I feel penalized. And instead, I was like, Oh, this is actually an amazing opportunity, I get to be on this cool implementation project. And I ended up actually getting like three promotions in a row from that one strategic move, where I was kind of at a ceiling and the other spot that I was, so remember that organizations are always trying to pivot and address things that are coming up and needs that are happening. So it may very well be that you’re coming back in there moving your job, and you’re being punished, but not necessarily. And even if it is, is there a way that you can like pivot and be like, Okay, well, I’m just gonna see what, you know, lemonade I can make out of this. Because you may end up with a boss who is more supportive if they move you You never know. So I think one of the things that we do is a mindset thing, where we automatically tell ourselves the most negative story possible about what’s happening. But having that growth mindset and looking at all of this as an opportunity to grow will help you just cope with those little things that could be setbacks, but maybe not. Yeah,
Real Happy Mom 23:39
I love I love, love, love that. And I love how you you brought in that story there because I was just thinking about myself too, because I was like, oh, like, it’s not very many people that they can like train up to my physical, like, you have to like get like a professional to take over that. So that that does make me feel better. But I will say when I had my second son, I was in an office where there were three dentists in there, myself included, so when I left they were the other two were able to kind of carry the load for me and take care of my patients while I was gone, so it was fine. But now I’m in the office all by myself. So it’s kind of different. And it seems a little scary. I’ll be honest, but I know if I sat down with my boss, we could definitely, you know, figure something out. And I think a lot of times, like you said, we start to get things in our mind and start to make up these stories when I know like even like with me being in the Navy, like the Navy can tapped me on the shoulder tomorrow and be like, Hey, you’re gonna be gone for six months, like you gotta go because it literally happened when the pandemic was really crazy. Um, there was several of us, my shipmates that I got tapped up to go to New York literally in 24 hours they had to die, which is crazy but anyways different story for different thing but the same thing is Like, I can still talk to him, we can still come up with a plan. And you brought up a really good point about not letting those negative stories be in our mind, but having that growth mindset. So thank you, thank you for giving us some clarity on that. Now, I just wanted to switch things up just a little bit. I know, we talked about, you know, planning for the return. But I’m thinking about the mums that are planning for the actual leave, is there anything in particular that you would say to keep in mind, for when you’re planning for the actual time that you’re gone? Well, the
Sue 25:31
first step, so in the we have the book coming out, it by the time this airs, it’ll be out, it’s called the parental leave playbook. And that actually lays out these 10 touch points that we’ve identified to be the most critical and common things that parents encounter, right, and the way that you handle them is going to make or break your parental leave experience. So in that first phase of those first, you know, touch points, you’re looking at the period where you’re at work, but you’re planning to be out. So those are, you’ve got your announcement of how you announce can be really important. But then you get into that assessment that Amy was talking about with our parentally transition assessment, or you know, that success system that you can figure out on your own, that assessment is really important to do before you try to start making an actual action plan. So taking the time to figure out what’s going on, what work do I have, how am I going to transition it, you know, all of those details of assessing your entire situation. And then you’re going to jump into planning mode. And one of the most important things to remember about planning mode is that I actually we a military guy, who we worked with Tony and told us this expression, something about how like, the the first rule of a plan is that your plan is you’re gonna have to make a plan, and then you’re gonna have to abandon your plan, right? And there’s a much more elegant way to say it that’s in the book, but it’s totally saved my memory. I think it was like one of the old generals like Eisenhower, somebody who had this great planning quote, but the planning helps you get into that flexible mindset of these what ifs, right? So what if this happens? Okay, great, right? What if I write on my due date? And everything goes exactly as I think it’s going to and how it should go, right? And then what if the baby comes early? Or if you’re adopting? What if you know, you have to pivot because the kid needs to be picked up sooner, right? Who are the baby comes sooner if it’s a surrogate, all of these, what ifs? What if it comes sooner? What if it comes later, all of these scenarios you can address in your action plan. So you have your main action plan, and then you have your contingency backup plans that are ready to go. And maybe you don’t pick one up like Plan B Exactly. But you end up with a mix of plan B and Plan C and no, geez, I need a plan D now, right? It helps you think flexibly and be ready to pivot. Right? You don’t want to get committed to your a plan, and then freak out if it doesn’t go according to plan. That’s not the point of planning. It’s not about control. It’s about readiness. So like on a practical level, and again, in our website, when you if you preorder the book, we’ll send you like a big spreadsheet with all of these tabs in it that help you with all the practical pieces of your planning. How do you hand off your work? How do you plan to pick it back up? Again, when you come back? What is your support look like? For while you’re out on leave? How often are you going to be keeping in touch with the office if you want to at all? Some people do, some people don’t. And it’s about what is going to work for you and your particular situation and then what your fallback plans are. So there’s a lot of practical steps to that. And again, this all lands on the on the employee by enlarge, right you’re gonna have extra work just planning and getting ready. But luckily, your kids not here yet. So you’re still getting hopefully you’re still getting enough sleep to be able to handle all of this. But those tools are really invaluable as long as you don’t get too attached to an outcome. Right. That’s another big takeaway of parenting is you can’t get
Amy 29:20
too attached to Sue, I would also add just that, that reflection time that comes with our fourth day, which is acknowledging that transition to parenthood, like taking that time in your planning to reflect and, and sit with it and think about it and recognize the different areas of your life where this is going to change your relationships, your roles, your routines, you know, all these different things that make up your day to day. Yeah. The relationship one has been on my mind a lot this week. of just how difficult that can be.
Real Happy Mom 30:00
Yeah, no, that that’s a really, really big one because I will be honest with you, I think, tell me if I’m wrong, because you guys have more than one child, right? Yes, I know. Suit. Yeah, we both have to you both have to. So we all have to so we all one thing that I remember when I had when I was pregnant with my second son is like the one thing that I know that sounds crazy right now thinking about it. But I’m sure I’m not alone. Like thinking about like, how am I going to love this baby? Like, I already have one. Like, I can’t imagine my heart like, loving another human being. And then I started thinking about my husband, like, how am I gonna love you guys? This is gonna be like crazy. But it’s like something magical that happens. Like when that baby comes in just like it just all like, Well, for me, it kind of just all falls in place. I know some mothers, they, they go through some things before that. But it’s just like, your heart literally just like expands and it works out. But definitely it was a strain for us in my husband because like going back, you know, to the not sleeping thing like, Yeah, little prop. So it’s funny that you bring that up, because I think that’s something that we don’t talk about a month, like it is gonna strain like the relationship with your partner, or, you know, family members who may be supporting you and things like that too, as well. So I’m glad you brought that up.
Sue 31:21
Yeah. And then there’s there are actually two touch points in the book about acknowledging, right, it’s like acknowledging the transition to becoming a parent. And then as you’re transitioning back to work, acknowledging that transition to becoming a working parent, right? Because those are two different other
Amy 31:37
use cases. Yeah, whether you are for the first time, right, right, your first it’s your fifth child, whatever, it’s different every single time. So you need to take it as new each time,
Sue 31:48
right? And so when you’re taking that time to acknowledge, then you can also you get that value alignment, you’re like, Okay, well, what happens if I feel like I’m starting to lose connection with my partner? What are we going to do? Right? How are we going to pause and try to reconnect before it gets so far down the road that it’s like, you know, marriage counseling time, and of course, marriage counseling is always a wonderful option. But how do we catch things as early as we can, so that we can keep aligned with our values, and you know, not completely burn ourselves out and still have the kind of life that we want to have?
Real Happy Mom 32:24
I love, love, love this. And I love this conversation. And I cannot wait for this book to come out, I’m going to be sending all of like my mom friends that are pregnant and be like, Oh, get the bug girl, go get the bug. So definitely, this book comes out, we got to get these moms this book for sure.
Amy 32:40
You know, what I also hope we can do is get what first of course, get every mom and every dad and every who out however you identify person, this book. But we also want to get their support around them this book, their manager, the book that the the leaders and what we’re trying to do with this is really create a common language and a common practice so that we aren’t recreating the wheel with parental leave with every single one. Right? As soon as we all have the same processes. And we everybody makes an action plan. And everybody you know, does each piece of it, that becomes our process so we can free up our minds to just be present and enjoy this most miraculous time. Right?
Sue 33:28
Yeah, and that’s one of the things that really drew me to Amy and her work and becoming a part of the Center for parental leave leadership is Amy had this brilliant idea. She’s like, we need to go in through the companies, right? Like you spend so much time at your job, if you are miserable in your job, and you do not have a supportive work environment. That’s a big chunk of your life that you’re spending being miserable. And if you’re trying to be a new parent in transition, and you don’t have that supportive culture at work, that’s a huge barrier for a lot of people and they end up leaving the workforce. Right? So if we can go in to the company and say, Actually, this is not mom’s problem to solve. This is not dad’s problem to solve. This is something that we can handle systemically and everybody benefits. Right, then we actually capitalize on this period of transition rather than feeling like it’s a really big inconvenience for everyone. So that was one of the things where I was like, Amy, that’s brilliant. It’s not about just going in and you know, handing mom the book, it’s about teaching that manager how to support leave and why they should want to do that is just huge. So actually, when the publisher came to us, to ask us to write the book, it we were like, can we just write the book for the managers or like the Align parent manager one and they weren’t quite ready for that. But hopefully that will be something we can do down the road because it’s really, really important. But I do think if this book got into the hands of those managers at work, who wanted to know how to do a better job, it would make a huge difference.
Amy 34:58
Yeah, so all the moms you Get it for yourself, but then breed it and hand it to your manager. Yeah. Yes, please.
Real Happy Mom 35:06
Yes, yes, yes, definitely. And I’ll be sure to include the link in the show notes for the book. So, yeah, definitely want to get it into the hands of everyone, not just the moms out there, too. So, Sue, and Amy, thank you, thank you so much for coming on. Before we signed up, I just wanted you to either give us some words of encouragement or a motivational quote, wherever you feel that’s on your heart. For us real happy mom,
Sue 35:33
I just want everyone to realize that this is going to be a very, very challenging time of your life, it doesn’t mean that you’re doing it wrong, wrong. It is challenging, even when everything goes according to plan. If you have like the perfect vaginal birth, and the perfect supporting boss, and all of these things lined up, it’s still challenging doesn’t mean that you’re doing it wrong. But there are just so many inherent opportunities for your heart to grow three sizes, that it’s just worth it to hang in there. And you can absolutely do it even in a broken system, you can absolutely do it and feel so much joy and so much love. And you know, you’ve you’ve got this, and it’s, you can do it.
Amy 36:25
Yeah, see, that’s exactly why this is on my mind right now is I feel like especially this quote is speaking to me. So let me just say what it is. It’s by Margaret Mead, who is a cultural anthropologist, and it’s Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. And the reason that is powerful to me is because I feel like moms, right now, especially, we need to have each other’s back, right? Our small group of concerned citizens, maybe all the parents in the whole world, that can be our small group. But to have each other in our hearts and interactions, especially right now in our world, and is, is healing. So
Real Happy Mom 37:20
Well, thank you for sharing that both of you, that was really, really good, and definitely what I needed to hear to. So thank you both for coming on. Definitely, like I said, we’ll keep all of the notes in the show notes. So you are listening and want to get your hands on that book, make sure you check out the show notes. And before we go, just let us know where we can find you online. If we want to learn more about you if we have questions or if we, you know, just want to get more information, where can we find you?
Sue 37:50
It’s C p l leadership.com. And you’ll want to go to slash book so you can get your hands on the book, you’ll get a ton of resources along with the book, you get the book itself, but then we have a digital access page where you can get even more of the resources that we talked about.
Amy 38:10
And I’ll put a plug in for the social media because we haven’t been strong in social media over the years and we’re trying to grow so we’re on all of them LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. I think CPL leadership is most of the handles but you can type in my name or center for parental leave leadership any become
Real Happy Mom 38:32
Awesome, awesome. So I will definitely make sure to include those links in the shownotes again, Sue and Amy Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. This has been so good.
Sue 38:43
Thank you so much Tony and thanks for all the good work you do I was listening to a bunch of back episodes and like damn, this is so good.
Amy 38:50
I know. Time management earlier as
Real Happy Mom 38:56
I know that this episode is episode, make sure you head on over to Real happy mom comm slash 159 so that you can get your hands on the book and learn more about how to prepare for your maternity leave. I hope that you have found this episode helpful. I know it is for me as I have a family member that is excited. And I want to make sure that she is all set and ready to go when it comes to her maternity leave. So I definitely hope and pray that this helps you helps your family and you enjoy your time off and you return back ready to go when it comes to maternity leave. So that’s all I have for you this week. Make sure you stay tuned for next week for another full episode. And if you would do me a huge, huge favor if you found this helpful. Leave me a five star rating review in Apple podcasts I’ve used so so grateful to appreciate it. Take care, lots of love
